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Rain by ~Midaiki:iconMidaiki:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Humor > Open


Rain:

I walk these streets.

puddles forming at my feet.

I'm wearing a big grain.

As drops fall from my hat.

I see a puddle.

and like a tiger leaping for a bird

I leap for a moment suspended.

then landing with a splash.

I laugh as water feels my shoes.

I walk home grinning even bigger.

as my shoes make a satisfying sound to the movement of my feet.
©2008 ~Midaiki
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Submitted: May 17
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I went for a walk in the rain.

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*imberantiel:iconimberantiel: May 17, 2008, 12:41:38 PM
makes me feel like a kid again! :D

--
"hey guys, can i have a flashback about what happened 16 seconds ago?"
-Naruto the abridged series
*Neoseraph24:iconNeoseraph24: May 17, 2008, 1:59:14 PM
i like the simple joys thatyou show in this, how everyone wants to do this, even if we're not sure why lol, good piece, can i suggest you watch out for "grain" when i think you might mean 'grin' and "feels" when you might've meant 'fills'
sorry if you think i'm being fussy

--
'You can bring a noob to water, but you can't, like, make a noob drink!' - Jeremy of PP
~Midaiki:iconMidaiki: May 17, 2008, 2:39:19 PM
Thanks for pointing those spelling mistakes.

--
Please visit my main acount[link]
~Midaiki:iconMidaiki: May 17, 2008, 2:39:48 PM
THatsa the idea.

--
Please visit my main acount[link]
*Neoseraph24:iconNeoseraph24: May 18, 2008, 9:03:02 AM
its ok, if you think its helping i'll try to do so :)

--
'You can bring a noob to water, but you can't, like, make a noob drink!' - Jeremy of PP
~Midaiki:iconMidaiki: May 18, 2008, 2:17:33 PM
Thankyou very much.

--
Please visit my main acount[link]
~Midaiki:iconMidaiki: May 18, 2008, 2:18:47 PM
It is. I post these writings here and on a forum. So if you point somthing out. I'll fix it before I put it up one the forum.

--
Please visit my main acount[link]
*Neoseraph24:iconNeoseraph24: May 19, 2008, 9:19:09 AM
cool

--
'You can bring a noob to water, but you can't, like, make a noob drink!' - Jeremy of PP
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